Do I go or do I not… I think I answered my question

There’s a missing piece of me in Turkey. I don’t care about anything else… and dad said it was for him too… so this is not only a gift to him… I think my father just wants to live that “joie de vivre” that we learned to live when we lived in Turkey and forget the pains of what he and his daughters endured… and our family that for 7 years.. (funny isn’t that biblical) did not have a Christmas together??? why do you think that was… so… dad asked me.  I adhered.. because we only have our children… and one life and dad is doing what I would have done on my own… go back… to find that ONE thing that dad and I don’t even know what it is… but he agreed with me… he’s going back and so am I to find that piece of the puzzle. Henceforth mine is togetherness for Dad… . And finding or seeing if we can … our long lost most important friends.

Turkey, was for us…. no… is… a memory never lost… and we are all getting older… so… ditch the hurt… make it work… and we all want to go back… to where… we became a family … because ????  remembering once again… our weird Catholic school… all four of us in that little Murrat  (known to most as Fiat but in Turkish that meant price so they had to change it for that market) … the remembories of our poor driver running over that dog and Mustaffa was the name of our taxi driver who took us to school and the name of our superintendent… OK my go on too long… but Turkey was possibly… no was… the most WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE OF ALL THE CAMPBELL’S LIVES… as best put… so all differences amongst the `girls` NEED to be put aside to capture a piece of that again as a family … thank you to Atilla for asking me questions.  In so doing I just figured out why my dad wants to go back… prior to this… wasn’t quite sure.  was… but wasn’t… but I know now why I agreed when I said I wanted to go find the missing piece of the puzzle… .. fun, forgiveness…. and included… for Janet to see Agavni, for me to see Susanne – our best friends when we were there … for my parents to touch the feeling of a Yatman in Turkey.. and me too that too.. To touch a piece of the most incredible journey we took in life as a Canadian family who connected so deeply to Turkey  ….. Istanbul,  Turkey where we were `foreigners` that belonged… .

I won my speech about Turkey…  when I got back home to Canada….. Janet helped me by the way.. we were required to do a speech.   So mine I chose TurKEY… my key.

… and Janet`s help was with the intro, which I should tell my parents about… but still hasn’t come up in convo.. But listen… don’t read… listen…

ok… so this was my intro… “sounds of carts in the streets, of men screaming in unfamiliar language and motor horns louder than in Europe….. these are the sounds of Turkey” I don’t want to go back in one sense….. I want to hold on to my memory of what Turkey was like and meant… MEANT… MEANT to me.  That will all be taken away in a way because I know it`s not the Istanbul that was without commercialism (kind of like when the Internet was taken over and I had to witness that and I didn`t like it) … but.. for the sake of my parents I will attend this ceremony, which may be my last vacation overseas, and to where four years of my life shaped a piece of me… but took one away that I need to find.

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