I love Two and a Half Men – the old one with Charlie. But sometimes I think that it’s not the healthiest show to watch. I mean, Charlie with all those sexy skinny girls and older ones are generally not appealing to him. Although the older ones, in fairness, that he did like were too smart for him. So it’s a catch 22 when watching it. But I can’t help but think about my sagging boobs (wait!! they were always saggy!!) and my extra weight around my belly and below my waist which they call love handles, but to me they are just four pounds of extra butter. I know I can work it off, but there is no reason compelling enough for me to want to at this time. Winter and cold early spring make me turn into a bear. Hybernation. I’m so looking forward to the sunshine and warm weather and being able to take my bicycle out. 49 1/2. I remember at 42 dating guys younger – 36, 38 – and finding out that they wanted to be with me simply because back then they figured I’d end up with a good settlement from my divorce. They made fund of my old body. You think being young is tough. Try aging. But going out with older men is not any better unless you are 10 to 15 years younger then them, which means I’d have to date a 60 to 65 year old. Maybe that’s not so bad in this day and age, but even to that, they are dating 30 year olds. No winning. Men have it made. No matter what age, no matter what size, they get the younger women and leave us leather faced oldies to just sit and ponder about life while they woop it up with their younglings. I’m not bitter, just sometimes disenfranchised with this whole thing about relationships. Maybe why I like being alone, writing, and hanging out with Hampy and my animals. Having said that, there still is an intimacy missing there. Someone to hold, even if on occasion. Someone to tell you they love you no matter what. Someone who excites you and you them. Maybe I’m too old for all that now, but I still want it. Not looking anymore, but if I am made to have that, then God will provide. Until then I remain The Girl In The Barn.