I had an interesting “chat” with a friend this evening and his problem seemed to stem from not feeling like he belonged on this earth. I jokingly responded that maybe when NASA divulges their big “good news’ secret about Mars, it may be there is another world to live on. His response to that was: “The answer is right there Laurie, written down, I don’t need to look on Mars, just inside of me. But I need a guide for some parts of the journey, that’s where (Joseph) Campbell comes in. He laid out the network of paths in great detail, he shows how all religions, all philosophies lead back to the same place. So we know where it is, but you can’t walk another’s path. That’s where Zen comes in, it’s about authenticity, I have been very near to selling my soul to buy admission on the path. I needed a good reminder why that is so dangerous for someone like me.”
The key to those words were “why that is so dangerous for someone like me.” I have felt that, so many times. Now being free of my bulimia, I feel it even more. I know what IS dangerous to me and am learning to avoid it, or understand it, and accept there will be the times I will have to face that which is “dangerous to me” face on and smack it in the face and stand up to it and tell “it” NO MORE!
I have to be thankful for the fact that my faith is strong and had been a huge part of my moving forward, and remaining on track of living out this life that I live on “this earth”. Without my faith I may have sounded as lost as my friend, yet, there were times I felt this “I don’t belong on this earth” feeling. Another friend, Bruxy, who was not only my pastor, but a great friend, said: “none of us belong here, that is the reason we struggle with this meaning of existence.” Having said that, I also posted a quote “God uses ordinary people to carry out His extraordinary plan”. There was no name attached to that quote. Just a website. But to this my friend posted “guess I’m not ordinary enough for God.”
I disagree, because for God, as far as I am concerned, even the smallest of plans to Him are extraordinary. It could be as simple as feeding the hungry, helping out a friend, loving someone who doesn’t feel loved and making sure they know they are, or random acts of kindest in general. Extraordinary. Why? Because the people who do these “small” tasks are extraordinary.
I think if everyone knew there was a part of themselves that was indeed extraordinary from the “small” actions, there would be, and this being in context with my blog here, less eating disorders – and less of anything that hurts people.
My friend is a musician. His extraordinary is sharing that talent. He doesn’t see it. I do though. I see. When you open your eyes to those around you creating extraordinary acts they don’t see, tell them. And let them know that too look too much IS dangerous, and that they do belong on this earth, because that is part of your earth and they are a part of the life you are living – on this earth – and most likely they made a difference in your life.
I do belong on this earth, because I am not done with being extraordinary. 🙂