When Someone Tells You “This Song is For You For New Years” and You Think “WHAT???” The Answer:

“Do I”

Baby, what are we becoming? Ask yourself that – you are the one…
It feels just like we’re always running – doing this.
Rolling through the motions every day

I could lean in to hold you
Or act like I don’t even know you
Seems like you could care less either way – How could I care when you love someone else???

What happened to that girl I used to know? You messed up her head!!
I just want us back to the way we were before – what?? Calling me nasty names and fighting?  Oh, we’re not together anymore and that still happens!!!

Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby? Used to.
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy? Used to.
Do I have your love? Am I still enough? You should ask yourself that one.  I’m obviously not enough because you need two women in your life.  And I don’t want to be one of the two.
Tell me, don’t I? Or tell me, do I, baby I think you know the answer.  You don’t.  You like too much “v” for me.

Give you everything that you ever wanted? Sometimes for work to keep my educational brain going, but my sanity you destroy every time you look for your fight.
Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely? You’ll never be lonely.  You can’t stand being alone (a Jerry MacGuire issue).  You have Moon and if you need your second love, I’m sure your ex-girlfriend or estranged wife would run to you.
Do I just need to give up and get on with my life? Not on our friendship, but anything else related to intimate relationship emotions, yes.
Baby, do I?

Remember when we didn’t have nothing Not really.  I had something, you had nothing, then now you have something and I have nothing, but I have myself.  And that is more important than material stuff.
But a perfect simple kind of loving? After the first month it was never simple!!
Baby, those sure were the days What?? 30 days of wonderful, then the rest fights, names, ugly ugly ugly, then you and your need for more than one woman at one time?? Hummm.  Are you living in reality or a fantasy?

There was a time our love ran wild and free and psychotic!! It was never healthy like you and Moon (apparently)
But now I’m second guessing everything I see! You should!! Look in the mirror dude (sorry I know you hate that word 🙂.)

Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby? Refer to the above answers for the rest of this song…
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy?
Do I have your love? Am I still enough?
Tell me, don’t I? Or tell me, do I, baby

Give you everything that you ever wanted?
Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely?
Do I just need to give up and get on with my life?

Baby, do I still give you what you need?
Still take your breath away?
Light up the spark way down deep?
Baby, do I?!

Whoa! Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby?
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy?
Do I have your love? Am I still enough?
Tell me, don’t I? Or tell me, do I, baby

Give you everything that you ever wanted?
Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely?
Do I just need to give up and get on with my life?
Tell me baby, do I get one more try? Do I? Hummm.  Let’s see.  Gave my Ex-Husband 3 chances and he struck out.  You, I gave more.  Twice back to your estranged wife, once to your strange lady, and then two years of lies with your married lady.  Ah, it would be a duh, and an L on my forehead to say you have another chance.  Think it’s time for me to give myself one more try – alone, and learning to be who I am.  Liking this so far!! So really, even if we do end up talking, truth be known, odds are, “it ain’t gonna happen baby”.
Baby, do I?

You can claim you love me, but you never show it in action.  You can claim you are f’d up but that is not an excuse.  If you know you are f’d up do something about it.  When you have come to your senses, then maybe we can talk.  Until then, keep with Moon and leave me to live my life, as you do freely.  I deserve the same respect.  I don’t want to interfere in your life, never do never have.  I am not jealous of what you have with Moon, but at times angry because you just lie all the time and you come around and bruise me, but never have you laid a hand on her.  You get me going, and then you enjoy the fight.  But of course, how could you ever lay a hand on someone who’s brother lives with you and who would have to answer to a husband?  I have no one to answer to, except my children and my parents if they ask, which I then have to lie, like you do all the time.

It’s funny how you claim to buy me things all the time, but forget that I buy my own when I have the money, and oh, it’s like I have never helped you find work, or ever asked for more than the days I do get something the equivalent of $13 for a day of work.  In the last three four months I brought in over $8000 of work for you (all profit!).  Work  4 to 6 hours a day calling your suppliers, following up with your customers on the phone and on the internet which I pay for (both my phone and internet).  I never complained until recently I realize you are bitching about everything and I can’t wait to start my job and leave you to run your own business on your own.  I obviously add no value to it in your mind.   This is what you reflect.  Me = no value.  Hummm… I don’t think I’m the only one that you do that to.  Forget think!! I know!! I’ve seen you work people then just complain and walk away to visit your Moon and leave us to do your dirty work then just come back and complain about everything!

You are not a king in this poor kingdom of people trying to make it.  And you have no right to degrade them and patronize them.  I had enough of that from ex-husband, I don’t need it from you.

So, to end this… again… figure out your f’d up life and then we can talk.  Until then I love your friendship, and helping you out if you can manage to put value to my time that I put in.  If not, we can just end everything all together, and I can move away and you can use my place as a love nest for your married adulterous.

Sex just screws things up (pardon the pun), except with you and Moon apparently.  So keep it this way.  Keep her as your girlfriend, and leave me to be your “Sally” in the movie “When Harry Met Sally”.  Let’s be friends.  I know you can do that.  And if you can’t then, I understand.  It would be a ex-husband thing again.  My, I never realized how much the two of you are similar.  Only difference is he may have cause me issues physically, you do it mentally – oh and well, when you think you own me and expect sex from me… well guess that is physically too.  Never think you are any better!!  You hate me for denying you.  Well, it’s my body babe.  Go find another sucker for your lollipop.

I am not interested in a relationship, so your jealous BS, Othello Syndrome crap can be thrown out the window.  What I am interested in is getting my life together, working, making some money to be able to take my children away on a trip, to be able to feel that I don’t need to ask for anything anymore.  That I AM self-sufficient.  That to me is the most important thing in my life right now.  Not having another controlling idiot in my life.  I just want to be me, when I want, go where I want when I want, to be able to get out and not expect anyone to have to drive me somewhere, something that seems to be a control thing too.  I WANT MY INDEPENDENCE BACK!!!

So there you go.  You asked.  My New Year’s Eve song?  Think this one you said was for me works better for you to give to your Moon.

Laurie Ann And while I’m at it, drop the Ann okay?  Reminds me of your Loki, Othello combo mean streak.

This is my song to me:

“This Is My Now”

There was a time I packed my dreams away
Living in a shell, hiding from myself

There was a time when I was so afraid
I thought I’d reached the end

Baby that was then
But I am made of more than my yesterdays

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment
As I look around
I can’t believe the love I see
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubts
That was then, this is my now.

Had to decide was I gonna play it safe
Or look somewhere deep inside
and try to turn the tide
Find the strength to take that step of faith

And I have the courage like never before, yeah

I’ve settled for less but ready for more

Ready for more

This is my now!!!

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