I so love this!
I wrote about this before. Don’t let those cruel to you drive you to your eating disorder. It did me for too many years. Other’s anger towards you should never break you to eating them up then throwing them up. Coping mechanism maybe, but in truth, they don’t care how you cope. YOU SHOULD! Don’t let them win. Answer? Talk to someone who would never be angry at you and would listen. That is our treasure. A true best friend. Even if it’s your dog. 😉
Tomorrow I am going to experience the hurt of having abused two friends so badly that they are leaving me. Two of my teeth that my choice of being bulimic forced their death. I am crying because I will miss them soooo much. I didn’t mean to hurt them. I should have known better!
I saw this post and I really needed it tonight, the last night I will have them with me. :(. So I’m taking the time to say goodbye. Forever. I know seems trivial in a world where people have lost so much more, but it makes me aware of that and too how my self-consciousness that I battled is rising up again.
Perhaps this is my lesson to find humility once again. I don’t fear the pain of the extraction, more so the sorrow of the loss.
During my days as a bulimic I had a flaw (amongst many others) and this is the main one. I let myself be an option to others. Last night my ex boyfriend spoke to me, as he often does as we have remained friends, about his girlfriend and all the things wrong about their relationship. I used to listen, but the broken record became tiresome and I finally said enough! In his complaints he throws in that he still loves me and he has to make a choice. I made it clear finally that in his choice I am not one of them as he continually speaks to (he is wondering if he should leave her and come back to me). NOT AN OPTION! May have been at one time, but not anymore. I deserve to be a number one choice, not an option, not a settlement, not a consolation prize! Not a choice because his child loves me and wants me with him. Not a choice because others tell him what is best. Anyone who has to rely on other people’s opinion other than having their own is bad news.
So yes, get out of the equation. Makes their choices and decisions easier, and your life simpler and happier!