Monthly Archives: December 2014

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Never broken when three are in the middle

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I don’t mean that love is not broken between two adults… they are never broken in the love of your children.  But I have to confess… ah.. it was him first. That will never change. Don’t want back just happy this is where it started and reason for ending… love and life and will always love the time we had… and hope my children know how much I loved him when I had them and still love them when I see him in them… because that was what it was about… having OUR babies. Sharing the genes. We did that well.  I will regardless always love him. As much as my children. Because they are half of him as half of me  🙂

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Never Let Yourself Be Broken

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Took this picture of a picture that ripped apart unintentionally.  It made me smile. I look at it and a great part of it made up a love frame I created.  But what was left of it was pieces of a life I miss yet don’t.  The picture was taken when a week before I was engaged. When he was simple and loving. Stayed in a frame that long. What was interesting is when I was taking the picture out to put into the love between our children his arm got cut off.  And made for an interesting artistic picture which I didn’t expect when my fingers showed up reflected in the shot.  Just looked pretty in the scheme of things. Who would have known that the best art comes from random desires to portray something else you meant to create?

Having said that artistry sure helps heal and if silly like me can always see irony in that art.

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I’m Not Afraid of Christmas Anymore!

What a beautiful Christmas Eve and two days to follow. No more fear of too much food!! And there was a lot! But I didn’t fear it at all.  I even took some home and enjoyed it for the last two days.  What freedom… and it made having time with my family so much more enjoyable.  This is the fourth year I have felt this way and I thank God!  But even more so thank God for my new home, my new friends.  I keep moving forward and loving every day.

I was walking my dogs and looking around at the pond, and the parks around my new surroundings… the silence, the solitude that I so love to come back to after spending beautiful time with family.  Thought… “never would have thought I would live here or be doing what I am doing in my life”… then a small voice responded “every day is a new day and never ask why… just enjoy that you are… where you are… today”.  I’ll take that Jiminy Cricket response to my question.

I went from 2400 sq ft plus a two car garage, a 4800 sq ft auto repair shop to 454 sq ft of beautiful.  No fear, no one telling me what to do and two beautiful dogs that keep me on my toes and a job that keeps me loving my repeat customers and enjoying the trip of life.

I love my family more than anything in my world… and my friends… and this freedom of low cost, no debt, no expectations from others and my bulimia gone.  What a beautiful life.  May have taken 52 years to find this… but as Jiminy Cricket said in my head… “every day is a new day and never ask why… just enjoy that you are… where you are… today”.  🙂

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