Feeling Left Out

I’ve moved my whole life.  From childhood, to when I became a young adult, to when I got married.  I moved.  Total moves? 23.  Now most people would say, “wow”, and others would say, “so what”.

I don’t know what caused this feeling of isolation and feeling left out.  My sister and I spoke about it today and we wondered.  Could this be because of so many moves? or are we just deficient in self esteem… or now I wonder if we are just too afraid to be involved… which then creates a reason for us to mirror that isolation and then prefer to be isolated by others.

I am not done with this thought and will edit further, but it took my brain a lot to even think this through!!!


Bullies Are Scary Even As Adults 

I’m sitting here on my deck which is above the one the bully has. He had left the premises so I decided to come out to enjoy the silence. He usually plays his music loud and has a baseball bat that he bangs and then hits a ball into the lake for his dog. 

He had parked in my parking spot so when he left I moved back to mine. 

Then only 15 minutes later he returned. I am sitting here a bit disconcerted because for the first time he did not reenter his home. He is just lurking and horking snot and mucous and waiting for me to descend from the deck. This is am sure of. It is getting cold and I am trying to muster up the courage to walk by but not feeling the love.

His dog is barking incessantly in his apartment but he is ignoring it knowing it annoys the other tenant who lives above him. 

He is relentless. 

The landlady has had her share of threats but the fact that this guy has a past of violence leads he to be cautious almost to a fault.  But I don’t blame her.

There are four tenants in this house. We have all gone through some disagreements but this young man has brought us closers together with his tyrannical behavior.

It is not a fun existance the one of fear and intimidation. They tell me to stand up to him or to move. Then he wins. 

I refuse. And my mind is going a mile a minute each day to try to intelligently deal with this situation. You have to understand too that this is a beautiful place. Not one many would find with a lake in the yard right in the heart of town and the price is right. I don’t want to sacrifice that for a bully!!!

I know there are a lot of alternatives but many to me are not an option. Particularly since he has seen my daughter and my sister. I can’t tell you how frightening that thought alone is.

Well to all my readers if I don’t return you will know why lol. But I will continue to advise you of the story of the bully….. more to come.