I remember when I started being bulimic. It seemed to harmless, and yes, it was because I was struggling with losing weight with all the diets I was trying. They were actually making me gain weight!
It all started when I was the right weight, but my sister that was obsessed with weight told me I was 10 pounds overweight and wanted me to start a liquid diet to lose the weight for her wedding.
That’s where my not so great journey started.
I don’t want to get into all the particulars, but I will say that diets are not right. They are distructive. Bulimia is destructive.
I just wish I had had someone back then to tell me that they were there. No matter what, they would be there and help me through understanding that out there no one really cares. If you are seriously happy with yourself, no one cares. Your true friends are there for your heart, not your looks.
I remember being embarrassed having people over if my house was not clean enough. Who cares? They were they for me. And if a messy house bothers them? They are not true friends.
But I walked a lot of my 30 years as a bulimic alone. People didn’t know how to reach out, they didn’t know what to say, they didn’t know just how to ask. And strangely enough, I would have liked that. Ask me how I am feeling. Ask me why? Ask me!! I wouldn’t have ALL the answers, but I would have had many. And maybe one was that I felt alone.
I know there are several sayings that will state “it’s your road alone”, but you don’t have to walk it alone. Someone by your side sure feels less lonely on the journey to recovery. And like the saying above notes ” It’s your road, and yours alone. Others may walk with you, but no one can walk it for you.” This is true.
But you don’t have to walk it alone. I am asking. And you are welcome to share. Again, email me. It’s fully confidential, but I do understand, and I will ask. I will care. I will seriously understand. And I won’t ask for anything in return. I will pay this forward.