“Always Be Purging”

“What?”, you say? Yes, I mean it, but I don’t mean in the way you are thinking as a bulimic. I mean that you need to always be purging “stuff” you accumulate to reduce your stress. Some of us tend to hold on to “things”. Believe it or not, this can increase overwhelm and stress, and as Mel Mason, my friend and The Clutter Expert explains, “what you see on the outside, quite often reflects your inside. If your home is cluttered, so is your mind”.

Mel Mason
The Clutter Expert

She writes: “Here’s the deal. You accumulate stuff everyday, so it’s important to make decluttering part of your daily life. I have a motto: “Always Be Purging” or ABP for short.

The best way to make it part of your daily life is to start small with 15 minute increments. The first week do 15 minutes one day. The second week, do 15 minutes two days a week and the third do three days etc.

Your goal is to build up to making time for it everyday, so that it becomes a habit and part of your daily life. 

By becoming consistent with making time to declutter your life, you’ll get to see the accumulation of space that you’re creating. You’ll get the dopamine hit and that will make you want to do more!

One way to help you stay consistent is by putting the 15 minutes in your calendar as an appointment with yourself and treat it with the same importance you would a dr.’s appointment or an appointment with a client. Actually pencil it in and make the time for it. 

The question now is, when are you going to schedule your first 15 minutes with yourself?”

One of the most freeing moments of my life was when I lost my business, and my home. I was living in a 2400 square foot home, the size of which did not include the basement and the huge two car garage. When I lost everything, I was forced to get rid of many material possessions, as I was moving into a 900 square foot apartment. The purge felt good. From there, I moved again and this time the place was 500 square feet. More purging. I finally found a really cute apartment on a lake. This one was 395 square feet. For every move to a smaller space, more “stuff” had to go. The less I had, the lighter I felt.

There are situations when “purging” is a benefit. Not when it comes to eating. However, as Mel has noted, “when it comes to putting order on the outside, you will feel more order on the inside, which helps improve your mindset.”

If you want more information about “decluttering” and a FREE blueprint download please visit Mel’s site at DeclutteringSpaces.com

Midlife Bulimia

Eating disorders are not just present in pre-teens and adolescence. Although it has been an issue for many years, the media began to publicize it more in the early 80’s, showing the rise in the number of women and men who acquired the disorder.

Although we would like to think that over time, with all the information and support groups available, that this disorder would have subsided, but in truth it continues to grow.

Keeping in mind that the “frenzy” of articles came out in the 80’s, this would reflect the number of women and men over 40 who are still battling with bulimia. This age group is often passed over and what is also ignored is the fact that at this age, unlike the younger age, they have honed their skills at hiding and creating a false front.

Many will not come out or seek help due to the embarrassment and shame of being over 40 and still struggling.

There is a great concern with this lack of reaching out, as bulimia affects the heart, and as one crosses over 40, there is a greater risk of having a heart attack. There are several other health and emotional issues that become an increased threat as the bulimic gets older.

It is for this reason that my coaching focusses on women and men (yes, the incidences in men is also increasing) over 40, although I do assist all ages. But to me, this is an issue that is often ignored and not given enough attention to.

Reach out to someone. If you are over 40, reach out. It’s never too late to find full recovery, but often it will come sooner and easier with help.

For more information contact confidential email at bulimiacoach@gmail.com

Six Years and Eleven Days

On the 11th of February I celebrated 11 days sober (I am a wine junky) and 11 years sober from my bulimia. This recent journey is bringing me to new places.  I am reading, writing letters and sketching – things I enjoyed doing but didn’t because I would just what to sit and watch TV with my trustee old friend Wine and relax.

There are a lot of things I am becoming aware of during this short time of complete sobriety.  I have been reading The Saint The Surfer and The CEO and it has opened my eyes to many issues I have to deal with and resolve. I realized I have had a closed heart for quite some time. It’s not that I don’t feel, but I certainly retain a wall around me to minimize the possibility of hurt.

As I go along this journey I am Journaling.  To that end I will share some of the lessons that are worthwhile.  To my friends out there still fighting the fight, don’t give up. As long as there is a spark still alive, it can still light the fire.

Perfect is not all it is cracked up to be

I want to share this story. I don’t know who wrote it, but it is amazingly true.  And I thank @addictivedau for sharing. Life is about living and learning and loving yourself just the way you are. And removing the negative. Reminds me of the saying in the movie  Tin Cup… perfection is unattainable .  Well said.

Push the button. Best button I ever pushed. I found myself again.

Today who I am and Happy

​Done most but go to bed early is a challenge because I want to be awake for every moment I can but getting there.  Be fierce … working on that. Feel it but kindness outweighs being fierce at often times… things that challenge you.. do that every day but there is one more I have to do for me. Other than that all other lessons have been completed. Particularly clutter. Went from 2400 Sq ft home and huge basement and garage to 400 Sq feet. Pretty awesome and freeing. 🤗🤗🤗 oh and I also unfriended people in my life that have been negative and toxic in person. That too is even more freeing than social media. 🤗🤗🤗🤗😆😆😆

Another Great Year

Seems like yesterday I posted about turning 51. Time sure passes quickly. And what a different place I am from where I was back then. It’s like night and day. Great job, a vehicle, a beautiful little apartment on the pond and a visiting daughter. Had a wonderful birthday weekend with family too and rode on the rides at the fair for the first time in years.

I know I am not doing what I truly love yet but I am at least feeling inspired to pursue that, unlike 5 years ago when my world fell apart and I lost all material possessions. It has indeed made for a journey back up from the slumps but great support helped me do just that. And a journey that has been free of bulimia.

It truly has been a great year!

Too Beautiful Not To Share

The picture says it all.

Watch “Shai DeLuca-Tamasi on his struggle with anorexia” on YouTube

Nice to see men come out and speak to others to let them know they are not alone.

Watch “YOU LOOK DISGUSTING” on YouTube

COMPELLING.  I never wore much make up and was who I was. Still went through stuff.  And still do. But I learned that the older I get I actually feel younger than those in their teens and up to thirty somethings. Maybe that feeling comes with wisdom. Only you can love yourself to the bottom of your heart and all you have gone through. No one but you can share that but with you. So be nice to yourself and keep your truest friends close. Anyone else who doesn’t love you like you love yourself and the journey you are going through… delete from your life. There is only one you.

Thoughts about building towers and the Beauty and the Beast

I feel for those going through depression issues no matter what they are labelled.  Been there. I built a tower of my own and with all the expectations of those around me built it too high.  It is not a nice analogy but it describes it somehow.  The Trade Centre.  An easy target and the higher the building the more susceptible and the bigger the fall.  And when you get to ground zero it sure as hell takes time to even imagine starting to grow again on the same property.  That property being you.

It took me years to get there but in the last three I have made new foundations. But this time I am not building a tower. And my architectural plan is for me not everyone else.  Small works for me.  I have nothing to prove to others only to myself.

A friend told me that some people who suffer from issues need to find that love for self first before they can grow. Some are not aware they have it and need to find it. Some do find the gift they didn’t know they actually had until they open the present.  Others need to create that love and that is a tough journey.

I was lucky. I remember being an incredibly happy child at the age of three.  First three years are crucial. I found that me again.  Unfortunately not all adults have that remembory.  I do and embrace it now.  And pray those that don’t can learn self love somehow.