“Always Be Purging”

“What?”, you say? Yes, I mean it, but I don’t mean in the way you are thinking as a bulimic. I mean that you need to always be purging “stuff” you accumulate to reduce your stress. Some of us tend to hold on to “things”. Believe it or not, this can increase overwhelm and stress, and as Mel Mason, my friend and The Clutter Expert explains, “what you see on the outside, quite often reflects your inside. If your home is cluttered, so is your mind”.

Mel Mason
The Clutter Expert

She writes: “Here’s the deal. You accumulate stuff everyday, so it’s important to make decluttering part of your daily life. I have a motto: “Always Be Purging” or ABP for short.

The best way to make it part of your daily life is to start small with 15 minute increments. The first week do 15 minutes one day. The second week, do 15 minutes two days a week and the third do three days etc.

Your goal is to build up to making time for it everyday, so that it becomes a habit and part of your daily life. 

By becoming consistent with making time to declutter your life, you’ll get to see the accumulation of space that you’re creating. You’ll get the dopamine hit and that will make you want to do more!

One way to help you stay consistent is by putting the 15 minutes in your calendar as an appointment with yourself and treat it with the same importance you would a dr.’s appointment or an appointment with a client. Actually pencil it in and make the time for it. 

The question now is, when are you going to schedule your first 15 minutes with yourself?”

One of the most freeing moments of my life was when I lost my business, and my home. I was living in a 2400 square foot home, the size of which did not include the basement and the huge two car garage. When I lost everything, I was forced to get rid of many material possessions, as I was moving into a 900 square foot apartment. The purge felt good. From there, I moved again and this time the place was 500 square feet. More purging. I finally found a really cute apartment on a lake. This one was 395 square feet. For every move to a smaller space, more “stuff” had to go. The less I had, the lighter I felt.

There are situations when “purging” is a benefit. Not when it comes to eating. However, as Mel has noted, “when it comes to putting order on the outside, you will feel more order on the inside, which helps improve your mindset.”

If you want more information about “decluttering” and a FREE blueprint download please visit Mel’s site at DeclutteringSpaces.com

Pre-Holiday Jitters

I remember when I was bulimic, having quite sever holiday jitters. This was particularly an issue when I had been doing very well in my recovery and I just felt as if doom was lurking around the corner. There was the dread of all the food that would be laid out.

My mother is famous for her spreads. The layout is huge with all kinds of what was back then “trigger” foods. Things that I felt I shouldn’t have, and if I did, I had “cheated” somehow.

This jitter is gone. I look forward now to visiting my parents and having the family get together and enjoying my mom’s wonderful cooking. The difference today compared to 10 years ago, is that I don’t deny myself anything. I know how much to put on my plate that will satisfy my hunger. I eat slow, and truly enjoy and savour what is before me.

What freedom there is in having removed the dread from the holidays.

Although this season is a bit of an anomily, considering COVID19, there still will be the celebrations and the food out there. Just remember, if you are going through fear, jitters, or dread, reach out. Talk about it. And once you have completed the evening, or day, or whatever time it is that that “feast” will be presented, call out to someone when you have achieved what you wanted to – to enjoy the company, the food, and not consume your mind with the idea of having to find a place to dispose of what is in your stomach. You can do it and celebrate that achievement. But DO make sure you reach out!!

I am available 24/7 over the holidays if anyone needs to contact me for support. Just email me at bulimiacoach@gmail.com. I will be there.

LA

Incidentally, cibophobia is the fear of food, and to some degree, that is a part of being bulimic. Don’t fret. It is common and it is recoverable.

Dealing with Anxiety and Stress After Recovery

What was my go-to 10 years ago and for the 30 years before that when anxiety and stress kicked in? Food. Binge and purge the stress, but really it didn’t resolve anything. It was a momentary escape from reality. What a crazy world that was. It didn’t only NOT resolve the stress and anxiety (in fact causing more anxiety after the binge making sure I could purge before my time limit), but also cost me time and money. But back then, I didn’t think about that latter part much. I just wanted my escape. My pseudo antidote for those feelings of anxiety and tummy knots. I found this picture and love it. It speaks for itself.

For the past ten years I have been able to resolve my anxiety and stress through different ways. Mostly writing, being creative, and biggest of all, taking deep breaths and remembering to have FAITH. But I WON”T lie. I still have times where anxiety appears and I don’t even know why! So I start to overthink, which then brings to the forefront of my mind all the things that could possibly cause me anxiety and it increases the level. I have to stop. Anxiety does tell lies. It creates thoughts of things that “may happen” and quite often the “thoughts” are the worse case scenario. Again. I have to stop, breathe, and have faith. It’s not always easy, but it works for me. I am not one to meditate because my mind won’t sit still enough, so it’s the short pause that helps me. (Trust me I have tried. Only time I listen to meditation voices – I love Mel Zabel, his voice soothes me and puts me to sleep everytime.)

Today I had to deal with a customer service issue. A huge charge on my bank account that was NOT supposed to be charged! And my rent is due, so that was not the best notice on my text message notification telling me this was happening. I called the bank, then the vendor. Two hours later, it was resolved.

Prior to it being resolved, however, I could feel all those feelings of stomach knots and anxiety. I had all these thoughts. Worse case scenario thoughts. But I had the beautiful realization that food was the last thing on my mind. Resolving the issue was the first thing, and as I proceeded to do this I kept telling myself everything was going to work out. STOP worrying!!

ANXIETY IS BEST FRIENDS WITH OVERTHINK 🙂

During my phone conversation with the vendor, it was a bit hard to keep calm. I did escalate at one point, but then realized that poor soul on the other end of the phone was not responsible for the mess, only to try to correct it, so I apologized and asked for a few seconds to take deep breaths and relax. It really works.

The customer service representative was having a hard time listening to my explanation, as he repeated the same ridiculous excuse that made no sense. That’s when Faith came in. “Have faith, LaurieAnn”, I kept repeating to myself. Nothing is resolved with anger, and a solution will be found when he finally understands the error of his excuses. And it happened.

This is just one of many anxiety and stress related issues I have had to deal with in the past 10 years. But in 2020, the strength has become even greater to overcome these situations. My faith has become even stronger than in the past 9 years. The belief in myself has become even stronger! I suppose it has been growing, but the awareness of just how much really became apparent this year.

Recovery is a process. But it is absolutely doable. And once you learn the tools to deal with emotions that triggered a binging and purging episode, the journey becomes easier.

To that sentence, many people think that the type of food a bulimic eats can trigger an episode. I have learned that the mindset is a bigger issue behind that trigger. Changing your mindset will define how the “trigger” is dealt with.